TRUMP CAN’T LOVE HIS NAZIS AND HATE THE GAS, THEY GO TOGETHER
We have a new “red line”! Hurrah! Our great orange leader thinks the chemical attack in Syria on Wednesday crossed “many, many lines”. Now let’s sit back and watch as Assad steamrolls those many, many lines with Russian help cratering the landscape. Trump objected “When you kill innocent children, innocent babies, babies, little babies, with a chemical gas that is so lethal,” not quite realizing he spent months demonizing those fleeing such horrific realities of the Syrian conflict and his son, Donald “Uday” Trump Jr. compared refugees to Skittles on Twitter at one point to suggest they were undesirable. There is also the fact that, as POLITICO points out, “When Barack Obama was president, Trump publicly urged him not to take military action in Syria.” The degrees of cognitive dissonance between this and Trump’s past comments and the racism, xenophobia, anti-Semitism of key advisors is palpable. For its part, the great innocents in the Kremlin, who never do anything wrong and have not since they were Sunday school age, “will continue to support Syrian Army troops in their anti-terrorism effort,” Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov said according to Russian state-run RT. The great innocent nation of Russia was also keen on deflecting its complicity by suggesting alternative narratives, as per standard operating procedure. The lies — which don’t bear repeating — as denial is the final act of genocide, are ripped to shreds by The New York Times.
BANNON OUT AT THE NATIONAL SECURITY COUNCIL
H.R. McMaster, we kiss you on behalf of many individuals, nations and ancestors who fled Russian slavery to bring us here! Unhinged racist Leninist Steve Bannon is out at the National Security Council in a move orchestrated by National Security Advisor H.R. McMaster. Bloomberg’s Jennifer Jacobs broke the story Wednesday of Trump’s decision to reorganize “his National Security Council on Wednesday, removing chief strategist Stephen Bannon from a key committee and restoring the roles of top intelligence and defense officials”. Additionally, “The national intelligence director, Dan Coats, and the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Marine Corps General Joseph Dunford, are again ‘regular attendees’ of the principals committee, as in the Obama administration.” This is the best news since Michael Flynn’s ouster, which gave McMaster his job. Bannon ordered the previous reorganization during the flash bang grenade of Trump’s first 10 days in office, which also saw an effort to ban citizens of seven-majority Muslim nations, including Syria, that drew huge protests to airports. The Strategic Initiatives Group Bannon formed to politicize the National Security Council and strip American citizens of depoliticized national security is something the White House now claims it never existed, The Hill reports. This despite dispatching well-documented in-house Nazi and ostensible “Counter-terrorism Advisor” Sebastian Gorka to the TVs to say things like, “We are charged with doing long-range initiatives that are really important to the president,” on CNN. The New York Times adds the delicious detail that it appears to have been an ultimatum first from McMaster, then from Bannon but in siding with McMaster, Trump chose vague legitimacy over the Julius Streicher of our time. The New York Times also notes that, “Bannon has been conspicuously absent from some meetings.” The official bullshit out of the Whites Only Haus according to Bloomberg is, “Bannon was placed on the committee in part to monitor Trump’s first national security adviser, Michael Flynn, and never attended a meeting. He’s no longer needed with McMaster in charge of the council”. If Bannon can be removed from the National Security Council he can be removed from the White House! So can Gorka! After all Mr. President, you can’t love the Nazis but hate the gas. The two things go together.
T REX TO VISIT HIS FRIENDS IN MOSCOW
Russian Order of Friendship Medal recipient and U.S. Secretary of State Rex Tillerson is going to see Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov in Moscow next Wednesday. The State Department said, “Tillerson plans to discuss issues including Ukraine, North Korea, Syria, and counterterrorism,” according to POLITICO. For its part, the Russians have laid down “an unusually detailed agenda for talks that it said aimed to eliminate ‘numerous irritants in relations,” according to Bloomberg. Prior to Moscow, “Tillerson will spend April 9 through 11 at the G-7 foreign ministers’ meeting in Lucca, Italy,” POLITICO reports.
DARKNESS AT NUNES: DISTRACT THE MASSES, CHEW ON RICE
Donald Trump is a huge goddamn liar. The media takes his lies way too seriously when simply calling bullshit as TRUMPISTAN WATCH does feels like the way to go. Well a brief chapter in the bullshit saga of DARKNESS AT NUNES was written Thursday when former National Security Advisor under Obama Susan Rice was forced to issue a denial, “I leaked nothing, to nobody, and never have and never would,” after the Trumpenführer’s parallel media started pouncing that she was responsible for “unmasking” Trump officials who spoke with Russian agents and related mafiosi officials during routine intelligence gathering intercepts. Recall, the whole masking and unmasking bullshit is basically the freak Trump’s reality show for the masses, a massive national security problem rescripted and boiled to shit until you have some gruel barely palatable enough for mass consumption. Naturally “the Rice reports have quickly overtaken the steady drumbeat of revelations about connections to Moscow that have dogged President Trump for months,” which is the whole goddamn point.
From The Washington Post.
UNMASKED: THE WHITE HOUSE’S BULLSHIT
What is the White House trying to hide besides everything? CNN reports, “Rep. Adam Schiff, said Wednesday President Donald Trump personally promised documents at the center of ‘unmasking’ allegations would be made available to all members of the House intelligence committee, but that White House staff is fighting those documents’ release.” Surprise! They will only release their so-called proof to lackey loyalists to drum up a reality freak show for the masses. On Wednesday, Schiff told CNN, “The President, when I met with him, said that he is happy to have whoever we wanted review the documents. His staff has opposed that, they were opposed to even letting my own staff review the documents, my staff director”. Is anyone surprised?
CARTER PAGE IS A SAD PATHETIC IDIOT
Why did Carter Page ever land in Trump’s orbit? It is utterly unclear but signs increasingly point to Moscow positioning as BuzzFeed disclosed at the start of the week that he met with and was seemingly recruited by an SVR agent using diplomatic cover at the Russian Mission to the UN. Now Page tells CNN, “he did not disclose to the campaign his involvement in a federal investigation into efforts by Russian spies to recruit Americans.” Page only had one curious thing to say to CNN, namely, “There’s an old saying we had when I served in the Navy: we do not discuss the presence or absence of nuclear weapons aboard specific ships, submarines, or aircraft”. What nukes — something that would lead to the impeachment of a sitting president and charges of treason?
—–KNOW YOUR ENEMY—–
POINT OF NO RETURN?
Huffington Post Highline has a long, great read that came out Tuesday but did not reach our radar until Defense One’s D Brief highlighted it on the scenario that “is keeping the military establishment up at night.” Hey, TRUMPISTAN WATCH too! It has all the danger of Russian-NATO contact (“flying so close that [Lt. Col Kevin] Webster can make out the tail markings”) and the absurdity (“Although his jet is carrying millions of dollars worth of the most sophisticated listening devices available to man, it lacks a simple radar to spot an incoming plane”) to make it a really fun read. “The possibility of an intercept gone wrong,” said U.S. Air Force and NATO air operations commander General Tod D. Wolters is “on my mind 24/7/365.” Admiral John Stavridis, the commander of NATO from 2009-2013 “is more blunt” in that, “We are now at maximum danger.” It is clear to “the U.S. military establishment” that “Russian provocation will continue” and “the Trump campaign’s links with Russia make détente politically unlikely”. The narrative reaches back into Cold War history to discuss the near miss of “Able Archer,” the exercise the Soviets nearly mistook for an attack but failed to react to (something to keep in mind as Zapad 2017, the Russian military exercise approaches later this year). The result for the moment “is that there are few remaining mechanisms to defuse unexpected emergencies.” Not sufficiently scared yet? “There are no other direct lines of communication.” Still not scared? “Stavridis, who has studied both Putin and Trump and who met with Trump in December, concluded that the two leaders ‘are not risk-averse. They are risk-affectionate.’”
UDAY FOR DIYALA
Or in America, our Uday, Donald Trump Jr. (his brother Qusay is Eric), is contemplating a run for the governor’s office in New York, according to The New York Post’s Page Six (the gossip page). God help us all, these tools really do imagine themselves the Romanovs without the tragic, bitter ending, which is fine because their weakness and ignorance is our great strength. Evidently he told members of an “elite” F6 Labs gun club in Hicksville, New York (great appropriate name for the town on such an occasion) that he would like to follow daddy into a position where he can usurp the public treasury and spew venom at the masses. Someone who attended told Page Six, “Don Jr. said he is interested in running for office, such as governor of New York”. Uday for Diyala! Uday literally wants a fiefdom as he “added that he didn’t want to be one of 100 Senators, nor a member of Congress.”
From The New York Post.
AL QAEDA AND ISIS NEVER DID THIS
It’s true, we no longer have to hunt the enemy exclusively in caves as they are nowadays just as likely to turn up at diplomatic cocktail parties in Washington – or perhaps they always were there and Americans just pretended to themselves the Cold War was over. In any case, Bloomberg has a story, “Putin Loyalists Are Invading Washington,” which should strike concern for anyone who cares about protecting truth. They are turning up everywhere – in your TV set and maybe even your soup, salad or prayers as they did when they showed up “at the exclusive National Prayer Breakfast and a private dinner with Republican congressmen that was sponsored by a Rockefeller oil heir”. Alexander Torshin, the former Russian Deputy Central Bank Chairman “who laughs off Spanish claims that he’s a crime boss, was even hoping to shake hands with Trump, an old acquaintance.” Last year, “the gun enthusiast said he’s known Trump for five years and the two men last had a jovial exchange” at a 2015 NRA convention in Tennessee. What did Torshin say the now president said? “So, you’re from Russia — when are you going to invade Latvia?” Horror. Tillerson is described as “the most-loved American in Russia after Trump”. Let’s take back our state from the enemy soon, please.
LIFE IMITATES SATIRE
New York Magazine’s Daily Intelligencer has princeling Jared Kushner in a totally believable but nonetheless ridiculous headline hiring a “Horror-Film Publicist to Run PR for His New White House Office”. Josh Raffel “is joining the White House Office of American Innovation after leading PR efforts at Blumhouse Productions, the plucky horror house that put out The Purge, Paranormal Activity and, most recently, Get Out, among other movies.” Oh man, shit writes itself. He previously worked for Hitzik Strategies (where White House pretty person and presumable leaker Hope Hicks previously worked), which repped Kushner Companies, the very real real estate business belonging to his father where he pretended to work all these years before. New York Magazine notes, “Even if you’re inclined to believe that the Kushner-led Office of American Innovation will be nothing like a horror movie, it’s impossible to deny the shared aesthetic between what Raffel used to sell and what he’ll be selling now.” One of the films Raffel promoted, “The Purge: Election Year” had a tagline on the poster, “Keep America Great.” Can we pull the curtain back on the Hollywood bullshit and could the real government please step forward because obviously these freaks are only running their own imagination?
From New York Magazine.
MEMETIC WAR: RUSSIA BANS IMAGE OF PUTIN AS A GAY CLOWN
Yes, you read that right. Russia, the great innocent nation of Russia, which flooded our info-sphere with horrible racist memes for over a year now has banned an image depicting Putin as a gay clown. TRUMPISTAN WATCH now owns a t-shirt banned in Russia, with an image of Putin in Technicolor and pretty, pretty lipstick and the #Putintheass on the back, a gift from a gay Ukrainian friend on first meeting – very cool! The Washington Post reports, “Russian news outlets are having trouble reporting exactly which image of the Internet’s many Putin-gay-clown memes is now illegal to share. Because, you know, it’s been banned.” Russian authorities decided it constitutes extremism because this is how extremists cover their own extremism. The Washington Post responds by sharing a bunch of variations of the Putin is gay meme available from social media.
From The Washington Post.
TO UNDERSTAND THE INFOSPHERE BATTLESPACE VISIT THE BALTICS
It’s no secret TRUMPISTAN WATCH is up to decoding the massive bullshit the Kremlin spews because of the life-long conditioning of Latvian family members to the insane crap Moscow uses to diffuse its crimes against humanity, decency and common sense. TRUMPISTAN WATCH fights Russia so hard because when you are one generation removed from Soviet slavery, you know you are never going back to the way things were ever because you have come too goddamn far. Well The Washington Post has a headline that makes this all crystal clear, namely, “If you want to see Russian information warfare at its worst, visit these countries,” and yes, they are the Baltic states of Latvia, Lithuania and Estonia. “Interference with elections? Check. Cyberattacks? Check. Prominent politicians with murky links to the Kremlin? Check. Fake news and skillfully targeted rumors? Double check.” The best bullshit the Russians spread is easily disproved by reality such as “The Baltic countries are failed states, their economies struggling. (In 2016, the average salary in Estonia was twice that in Russia.)” The kicker is something TRUMPISTAN WATCH knows all too well, namely the Balts “know, from their bitter Soviet experience, how important it is to keep your own story alive, no matter how hard the fight.” Two ancient Latvian proverbs not included worth knowing now: hope never dies and fuck you, Russia! Cheers! Priekā!
From The Washington Post.
WHO WAS REMOVED FOR SUPPORT OF RUSSIAN PROTESTERS?
This one potentially eclipsed TRUMPISTAN WATCH but don’t think we are alone. Defense One has Eliot Cohen profile the rocky tenure of Secretary of State and Russian Order of Friendship recipient Rex Tillerson to date and notes, ““after which the interim spokesman made a (good) statement in support of the Russian demonstrators and was promptly removed”. Who and when? Mark Toner’s Twitter reflects he is still Deputy Spokesperson at the State Department and he was quoted in several article so who is this referring to and when did it happen? Tips and info welcome! Is this in error? Also helpful, let TRUMPISTAN WATCH know! All tips anonymous unless otherwise stated in your note. Can’t find more elsewhere.
From Defense One.
—–RADIO MOSCOW: STORIES FROM THEIR PRESS AND OURS—–
RESISITANCE ADVICE: DON’T DO THE CORPORATE BULLSHIT THING
The internet erupted Wednesday to mock a new Pepsi ad that features reality TV star turned supermodel Kendall Jenner, a half sister to the once ubiquitous Kim Kardashian, interrupting a high fashion shoot to join a street demonstration before crossing between demonstrators and police to hand a cop a Pepsi. Beyond the utter tone deafness of trivializing real social issues, TRUMPISTAN WATCH could not help but think of two things. The first was the “I’d like to buy the world a Coke” ad which got the message of peace and unity at the peak of the Vietnam War correct. The second was the moment Kim Kardashian stepped out in a red hammer and sickle sweatshirt around last Christmas, at the peak of the onset of a national realization that Russia had meddled in our elections, to attend the Nutcracker. What the hell was she thinking? Like her half-sister’s ridiculous foray into things that are quite obviously degrees above their head, was she paid to troll us? Nonetheless, the Pepsi fail should remind us all that this is also about money and where we spend it. Therefore, let’s make this into a teaching moment and remind everyone that women, minority and immigrant owned businesses all need your support. Why have a Pepsi when you can have a Topo Chico? The Washington Post helpfully shared some of the recontextualizing memes that appeared to remind us that the struggle is not for soda but for equality.
SO WE DON’T END WITH KARDASHIANS A MESSAGE FROM NATO
My lovely Latvian father sent TRUMPISTAN WATCH a message this morning that I share with all of you, “The very first General Secretary of NATO, Hastings Ismay, 1st Baron Ismay, famously said that NATO was formed ‘to keep the Russians out, the Americans in, and the Germans down’.” Thanks papa! There was a time in the early years of the Cold War when a Soviet immigrant knowing this much about NATO could land you in the high school principal’s office. And for a time when TRUMPISTAN WATCH was growing up, Latvia was “a country that no longer exists.” Let’s not go back to those days! We have come too far!
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