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—–BREAKING—–

 

TRAITOR TRUMP SWAPPED RUSSIA LOVE NATO SPEECH IN, SURPRISE TO NSC

Here is your amazing Monday morning headline: Trump National Security Team Blindsighted by NATO Speech. Holy fucking shit, he is 100% certifiable, verifiable Kremlin proxy. Seriously!!! That speech shamed America, humiliated our military leaders and gave Russia everything it wanted by NOT affirming the American president’s support for Article V, which guarantees mutual defense, e.g. an attack on one is an attack on all. No wonder National Security Advisor H.R. McMaster and Economic Advisor Gary Cohn tried to rewrite history in the pages of the Wall Street Journal. Reality as it happened was not reflective of the reality of the outcome they wished to affect. Holy fucking shit! Trump is not going to last much longer, because he is in no way more powerful than his enemies cumulated and Russia just is up shit creek without a paddle but a 25-year old manual provided by its intelligence services. Trump did not reaffirm Article V against the express desires of his own National Security Council!!! Do you know what the hell this means?! It really is Bannon and Trump against the world. As POLITICO Magazine concludes in a line which must delight Trump’s handlers in and among the Kremlin, “But the awkward question remains: Should we believe James Mattis, or Donald Trump?” Fuck you Russia for real for this, you will pay immeasurably, generationally, and your elites and their children will suffer because no one will ever take them seriously after all our lives are destroyed if you succeed. The best thing you can do is lose now, lose badly and lose swiftly. Don’t taunt us with nukes after this! We will simply taunt you back with the loss of your precious privilege and the return of your precocious children to Russia rather than their cushy, posh lives in our nation and those of our allies. What could be more miserable than condemned to the fate of an ordinary Russian? Horror!

From POLITICO Magazine.

 

RUSSIA FINDS OUT FROM PARIS CLIMATE ACCORD AFTER U.S.

Talk about subterfuge: Russia says now that without U.S. leadership, Russia believes the Paris Climate Accord is “unworkable,” according to Reuters. Could it be Russia never wanted in to the Paris Climate Accord, got its proxy orange Russian bullshit in the White House to walk, let the press and international public kerfuffle simmer around him and then withdraw itself? This also serves the important function of stroking little baby hands’ oversized ego by implying the fiction that American power is not on the wane because of a Russian coup and a bunch of dubiously elected and appointed treasonous losers who will rot in jail or exile some day but for now occupy the executive. By deflecting blame from its total disinterest in all things but private wealth accumulation for a coterie of Oligarchs and elites close to the Kremlin, Russia is doing what Russia does, in fact it’s the so-called untranslatable khamstvo (enormous, dubious, filthy lie) that is the very essence of the Russian state. Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty even went so far as to suggest little man with too much Botox-and-fillers-face Putin is “upbeat” – but how can they tell when his face is as fixed as Jocelyn “the catwoman” Wildenstein’s? So the country is ruled by indifferent mafia filth, what is new?

From Reuters and Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty.

 

VEB CEO HAS NO ANSWER FOR REPORTER FROM FAILING BUT FREE COUNTRY

Sergey Gorkov, the CEO of Vnesheconombank, “who met with President Donald Trump’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner, a month before the inauguration refused Friday to say what they discussed and whether he’s been contacted by the FBI.” NBC News was all over the St. Petersburg Economic Forum like no self-respecting media outlet ever before it because its new ratings darling, crossover from faux news Fox News (alongside Chris Wallace, she was considered a heavy weight by network standards for her ability to tell Republicans things they do not want to hear) Megyn Kelly was coddling sad little man Putin on stage with attention and celebrity. In addition to Kelly giving Vlad all he wanted on stage by coddling him and treating him like a real celebrity, not some awful dictator, NBC News took the time to try some journalism too! Very thoughtful! “Gorkov, chairman of the state-owned VneshEconomBank, exited the event amid a scrum of people as correspondent Keir Simmons repeatedly asked him to clarify the circumstances of the December meeting. As Simmons tried to walk alongside Gorkov, the correspondent said, ‘please don’t push me out the way.’” The Russians want us to be all like ohmigod he could do a Greg Gianforte but in reality, we journalists are a pretty tenacious group and not deterred too often by the death and injury of our colleagues. We never had ourselves a Stalin or anything like orange Russian bullshit before. It wasn’t immediately clear who pushed Simmons.” One guess: someone in the Russian government or Gorkov’s goons. Like Keith Schiller, they presumably have fancy titles and wear business suits now. Gorkov claims, “I explained all comments before,” but like, no, know you motherfuckers are dealing with the American public now, not the Russians! Our expectations of corruption in our officials are wildly different and we never had ourselves a Stalin, well not all of our people, surely many immigrants bear the scars. According to NBC, “in a written statement to Reuters,” Gorkov has described his private Russian session with princeling Jared Douche-ner as “a business meeting”. Was it business? Was it government? Is there a difference between the two in this nonstop emoluments nightmare? Of this private Russian session, “neither VEB nor the White House have disclosed the location, exact date, or what the two men talked about”. Princeling Jared, you are no Henry Kissinger.

From NBC News.

 

SENATORS LEAHY + FRANKEL ASKED FBI TO INVESTIGATE SESSIONS

CBS News reports, “Two Democrats on the Senate Judiciary Committee,” Senators Patrick Leahy and Al Franken, “have asked the FBI since March to investigate Attorney General Jeff Sessions’ contacts with Russian officials.” They “made their request known Thursday, releasing letters they sent first to FBI Director James Comey in March and later to Comey’s successor, Acting Director Andrew McCabe, following Comey’s dismissal on May 9.” According to the letters, “Sessions, they said, misled them while he delivered testimony under oath at his confirmation hearing before the Senate Judiciary Committee earlier this year when he was asked about his contacts with Russian officials.” Consider this fertilizer for laying the ground for what is to come this Thursday, June 8 when Comey testifies on the Hill.

From CBS News.

 

LINDSEY GRAHAM COMES OUT AS UNMASKED

Senator Lindsey Graham of South Carolina is coming out publicly asking if the Obama administration may have improperly ‘unmasked’ him in intercepts of communications with foreign officials.” Remember how the moderate Republicans were supposed to save us? Cross that off your list. Seems Graham has things he wants to keep protected. On Friday, Graham told faux news Fox News that “he’d been informed by an intelligence community source that his identity was requested unmasked”. What might Graham want to keep in the closet? “I have reason to believe that a conversation that I had was picked up – with some foreign leader or some foreign person – and somebody requested that my conversation be unmasked,” Graham said. Adding, “I’ve been told that by people in the intelligence community.” Is it too much to ask if the foreign person was tall, dark and handsome?

From Fox News.

 

NATO’S SABER STRIKE KICKS OFF

NATO’s multi-national Baltic military exercise Saber Strike kicked off with 1,500 troops involved in Estonia alone, according to Estonia Public Broadcasting. Saber Strike, “the annual U.S. Army Europe-led training exercise taking place in Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania and Poland beginning Monday, which will include all four enhanced Forward Presence (eFP) NATO battle groups for the first time.” Two years ago TRUMPISTAN WATCH was there for the Polish portion of the exercise, riding in a tank at one point like Dukakis or Rocky from Rocky and Bulwinkle — not that other Rocky.  According to Estonia Public Broadcasting, “In addition to the Estonian NATO battle group, which is comprised of the EDF’s Scouts Battalion and British and French troops, also participating in Saber Strike in Estonia will be an engineer platoon from Finland as well as AH-64 Apache and UH-64 Black Hawk attack helicopters and forward air controllers from the U.S. Latvia will lead the exercise this year,” and “Units from a total of 20 NATO allied and partner states will be participating in Saber Strike this year”. Side note: it is sort of hard not to love the names of these exercise and their not-so-subtle blazing masculinity, this one is not unlike TRUMPISTAN WATCH’s favorite headline from Trump’s foreign trip: “Tillerson: ‘Not my first sword dance’ in Saudi Arabia”.

From Estonia Public Broadcasting.

 

—–INVESTIGATIONS, INVESTIGATIONS—–

 

DARKNESS AT NUNES: THE UNMASKINGS WE WEAR

The Washington Post reports, “The Republican-controlled House Intelligence Committee asked U.S. spy agencies late last year to reveal the names of U.S. individuals or organizations contained in classified intelligence on Russia’s meddling in the 2016 election, engaging in the same practice that President Trump has accused the Obama administration of abusing,” because have you been paying attention to how this works? This seems like something the Russians concocted in consultation with Edward Snowden because that’s how cockamamie it preys on peoples’ ignorance of government, the intelligence services and just general ignorance of the value of much beyond their own opinions. In any event, DARKNESS AT NUNES is on record whining about “violations of Americans’ civil liberties” when it comes to this unmasking horse shit as recently as last Thursday so what the hell, DARKNESS AT NUNES? Don’t cloak your treasonous ass in the Constitution! Our rights are not your toilet paper even if you happen to be working for a couple of Lubyanka shit stains.

From The Washington Post.

 

—–KNOW YOUR ENEMY—–

 

RUSSIANS ARE NOT SOVIETS, THEY ARE NOT CONSTRAINED BY COMMUNISM

EuroMaidan Press has an excellent but flawed piece on why Russia is winning its war of terror. Beginning with the intro quote by former Estonian President Toomas Hendrik Ilves, “if the Russians were to come back to Estonia again, they would not be constrained by communism,” are a few reasons that underscore a much simpler point: corruption was the key to the kingdom. While number one is a grave error and suggests Marxist-Leninist horse shit imposed some constraint on deviance that capitalism did not, number two bears repeating in full: “Putin can and does spend money to win over such people,” who, as stated in the previous paragraph are, “racists, extreme nationalists or Islamists,” – “in far greater quantities than Brezhnev ever imagined.” As the value of the money Moscow can offer has increased exponentially, so have the targets. Alas, the Soviets can afford to really impress the cheapest politicians in the whole wide world, those of the United States of America! And aren’t we all so much richer for it? If you count wealth in blood and tears… Curiously enough, the Russians do!

From Euromaidan Press.

 

HERE IS YOUR NEXT PROXY FRONT

Nagorno-Karabakh! Ever heard of it?! Most people have not, even the few in tune to international relations will look and nod and say, “Oh, right!” when asked about it. But if the old remnants of the Soviet Empire begin to piece themselves back together again, here is where that process existing in the Russian imaginary will go to next. Not part of NATO and bordering Iran, Russia likely thinks it can do whatever the fuck it wants. According to the International Crisis Group, “The former Soviet republics of Armenia and Azerbaijan are closer to war over the breakaway Nagorno-Karabakh region than at any point since a ceasefire brokered more than 20 years ago,” Reuters reports. For background: “Fighting between ethnic Azeris and Armenians first erupted in 1991 and a ceasefire was agreed in 1994. But Azerbaijan and Armenia have regularly traded accusations of violence around Nagorno-Karabakh and along the Azeri-Armenian border,” and you know, actual violence. Bullets, mortars, kidnappings… and then the objections over those things afterwards. According to Reuters, “any descent into all-out war could draw in regional powers, which include Russia and Turkey,” and also Iran, no explanation for why Reuters left out Iran except for if they view it as a total Russian proxy. Can you blame them? So maybe if anything this was why the Iran nuclear deal was a bad thing, a signal of Obama’s relative weakness? But of course the fate of Nagorno-Karabakh was not the only thing at stake there.

From Reuters.

 

—–DISINFO WARS—–

 

RUSSIA TODAY EXISTS SO YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON IN…

Today’s subheading for The Moscow Times look inside Russia Today is a proper trademark from the Darth Putin Twitter account. Nobody sue us, TRUMPISTAN WATCH is counting on your mercy (yeah fucking right, we have lawyers, the best lawyers, real killers). Also unlike the plagiarizers, frauds, white supremacists and general douchey human beings who inhabit the elite Trumpkin class as well as the Trumpenproletariat, TRUMPISTAN WATCH is citing a source, properly and thoroughly — something the Trumpkins and white supremacists working Russia’s puppet state for the Kremlin fail to do all the goddamn time. So it’s with this intro to Russian mafia state fraudulence that TRUMPISTAN WATCH proudly presents The Moscow Times glimpse inside Russia Today! Surprise, it sounds a lot like Al Jazeera did when it was in America! Awkward anti-Semitism impedes the ability to get good guests. Politically connected management lacks in substance but not in style. Messages inserted from the top seek to influence state policy abroad. And lots of damning indictments from or of anyone who touches it! Let’s look at one such episode involving McCann Erickson, the global advertising firm that signed on to produce a campaign that “contrasted former U.S. President Barack Obama and then-Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad with the question: ‘Who poses the greatest nuclear threat?’” My goodness, you mean they found racist garbage work in advertising too!? That is just too much shock. Don’t worry Russians afraid of Russophobia – we got that one covered aplenty in America., no need to dedicate any special attention of the directorate, you will find an oversupply on our shores. The network’s slogan, “Question More,” should make you do the same of Russia and the racist, anti-Semitic human garbage they are pushing to protect their vast stolen riches because you will find the deeper you go, the more brutal the clownish assholes are towards the top. Fear of being around such violent and intellectual lunacy is what keeps most people from straying anywhere near power in Russia. Fear as a motivator, also involves a self-preservation instinct. Just look at how Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov’s daughter respondent to criticism of her opulent lifestyle, which includes a recent sojourn to Cannes and an elite French education and life in Paris; like all the children of the stratospherically rich her eyes belay a vacant stare conflicted between confusion over what to do with themselves and their truly great fortunes. So must read because it is as close to the dirt as we will get for a bit! At least until Thursday if Comey’s hearing is not somehow derailed (prediction: it will be, or at least there will be some real big breaking fluff thrown at us from the Trumpkin elite).

From The Moscow Times.

 

ROUND UP OF RUSSIAN BULLSHIT: HACKING, PEDO-PUTIN + SETH RICH

A new feature of DISINFO WARS where we concede that even in spending a passing second on Russian bullshit, TRUMPISTAN WATCH is giving it more attention than it deserves but does it anyway, and not because it feels good, but because someone fucking has to and TRUMPISTAN WATCH will take this one on for humanity and to call it out as the vile stink pile of Russian bullshit that it is. As far as hacking, Russian state-run RT carries a story where some nutty ex-MI5 agent or so they say repeats Kremlin propaganda about how “a script kiddie from their mom’s basement,” could have hacked Macron’s campaign last month to bolster a conspiracy about how the U.S. really did. This is so awkward in translation it could not possibly have been translated from Russian to English back into Russian and then into English again, could it? Of this vein, chatty, more over-exposed than a Kardashian Russian don Putin “told NBC’s Megyn Kelly on Friday that her ‘underage daughter’ could use technology to disrupt an election campaign.” Reminder: Putin likes children and his trying to use his alleged pedophilia to intimidate a journalist is just, oh ew, because ew, he is just that gross. If Kelly does not or did not know she was speaking with an accused pedophile whose accuser was murdered in a sensational way with polonium tea at the Millennium Hotel in Mayfair, London, then she really is not worth her weight in salt. Lastly, Russian state-run Sputnik rounds out this week’s Russian bullshit with another hit job piece on Seth Rich. Recall Rich is the murdered DNC staffer who the family and boycotters had to shame faux news Fox News Sean Hannity into shutting the hell up with his harmful and completely ludicrous conspiracies. Don’t let dignity stop Russia though! They have none. If the Russian state disease has not infected your nation yet, be so so grateful! It’s like cancer with a side of unpleasant racism and a heavy dose of constant trolling. Also, induces lobotomies.

From Russian state-run RT, U.S. News and World Report and Russian state-run Sputnik.

 

TRUMP ADVISOR JOINS SANDY HOOK CONSPIRACY SCUM

The Washington Times reports, “Conspiracy theorist Alex Jones is expanding his far-right media empire and has given President Trump’s former campaign adviser a part in the process,” Roger Stone. Just a reminder: this is Alex Jones. Are you not convinced our republic is at least moderately fucked yet? If no, contact your physician. You may have ingested something with neutralizing side effects and that knowledge should be shared with humanity via controlled physicians group studies, nothing like Mengele though, please.

From The Washington Times.

 

—–RADIO MOSCOW: STORIES FROM THEIR PRESS AND OURS—–

 

WAR MACHINE: BEING MICHAEL FLYNN

The Daily Beast reports on mass culture Netflix film “War Machine,” which is being advertised widely across the U.S. and Europe at the moment starring Brad Pitt as a General Stanley McChrystal-based character. (Civvies, recall McChrystal was fired by Obama and relieved of his post as Afghan war commander after he was caught saying a bunch of disparaging things by since deceased reporter Rolling Stone Michael Hastings. When your military friends ask how you know that, send them to us, we will welcome them with open arms.) The film is based on Hastings’ book – no, not I Lost My Love in Baghdad, the other serious one, The Operators. Evidently, there is a character based on Michael Flynn, which might maybe make it worth the watch. According to The Daily Beast, “Pulver is played by ‘80s geek icon Anthony Michael Hall, unrecognizable behind pounds of muscle and an unhinged glare, is one thing; that he’s based on disgraced General Michael Flynn, President Donald Trump’s former national security adviser and one of the most controversial figures in America, is quite another.” In order to resemble an ideal military leader of the Trump era and be among the Trumpkin elite, “Hall packed on about twenty pounds of muscle, consuming eight eggs a day and working out for two hours every morning before arriving on set,” because that’s what it takes to be a man in modern America, ok? Because, you know, “He wanted to be ‘steel’” – actual quote from the story, swear TRUMPISTAN WATCH could not have made it up or done better if effort were still a thing when white power is supposed to do the trick and total surrender is in order against such rugged masculine power! Let TRUMPISTAN WATCH know if it is any good, existence is best built comfortably beyond the mainstream because please look at what that is before criticizing.

From The Daily Beast.

 

JARED TALKS, LET’S SEE HIM IN A PERP WALK

If you at some point this week have enough drinks in you or drugs or perhaps you are having trouble sleeping and in need of a sedative and want to hear the sound of princeling Jared’s voice, you can in video CNN has obtained or found or something on YouTube of speeches Jared gave because somewhere, someone wanted to hear him talk. God knows why. They say money talks and everything else walks but some other things do end up in perp walks! Obviously, TRUMPISTAN WATCH wants to see him in a perp walk, nothing else matters. And when nothing matters, everything matters.

From CNN.

 

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