—–ON THE AGENDA—–
COMEY DAY: THE THRILL ON THE HILL
Winter is Comey! The day is here. The Party of Russia has begged the toddler in chief not to Tweet live during the hearing or even watch, but with nothing on his schedule and the 24 hour media to egg him on, bring it on. All tweets can and will be used against you in a court of law and public opinion. Tee time or first bell is at 10am EST. Consider everything that happened before now this week to be fertilizer for this moment. Trump stuck to his penchant for third world autocrat style meaningless theatrics whereas the D.C. policy and intelligence threw a bunch of dirt at him and overnight James Clapper, the nation’s formerly highest ranking intelligence officer, gave a scorcher of a speech in Australia. Trump’s combined enemies are now greater than he is and it is clear this sick, deranged man is not running wars on every continent. Trump has asked for us to choose whether we trust him or the military. Now, who do you think is running those wars? And yes, Comey did the right thing and dropped the content of his prepared statement so Trump cannot back out now. Life is not beautiful but enjoy the spectacle as if this is all that there is, because why not? For one day, America was made for us! Tomorrow belongs to me!
HELPFUL CHEAT SHEETS, SCORE CARDS + MISCELLANEA FOR COMEY DAY
Get out your Twitter thumbs and be hashtag happy #ComeyDay is here. But you know this is all a made for TV spectacle while the military works over time to restore some semblance of geopolitical order behind the scenes and in public security fora, so do not get too wildly excited, but at the same time, enjoy the show! Comey Day is here! You know it is going to be the cliffhanger before a summer of reruns and you know the Party of Russia and the Russian mafia state will do everything it can to derail our efforts to take back our state. So, with that introduction in mind, herewith: a field guide! The TRUMPISTAN WATCH field guide for Comey Day consists of cheat sheets! Score cards! Miscellanea for Comey Day! TRUMPISTAN WATCH is your Russia and authoritarian state obsessed best friend, just like in real life for all TRUMPISTAN WATCH’s actual friends (really, just ask them). Consider this a field guide for cheering Team America, which may or may not include James Comey but absolutely with 120% certainty does not include Donald Trump, his family, associates, Russian mafia state backers or any and every enemy foreign and domestic. In addition to taking back America, we are going to take back chants of U-S-A! U-S-A! Because USA! USA! Fuck yeah, America!
– The New York Times has “How Seven Trump Associates Have Been Linked to Russia,” featuring: Princeling Jared Douche-ner! Attorney General Jeff “private Russian” Sessions! Michael “lock him up!” Flynn! Michael “shares lingerie photos of his daughter on the internet so you can be jealous” Cohen! Paul “On and Off the Shore” Manafort (like Murakami’s Kafka but also off the shore)! Batshit looney toon Carter Page! Roger Stone Jr., who should count as the pinnacle of his life’s achievement appearing dressed as a member of the Baader Meinhof gang on Alex Jones’ InfoWars because Stone is a sack of shit evil turd. All the characters we have come to know and hate watch in recent months, who defile the very definition of what it means to be a human being! And yes, they are all connected to Russia!
– POLITICO on “5 things to watch in Comey’s testimony on trump and Russia”. Surprise! Spoiler: number three involves Twitler and his baby hands on the Twitter. This is classic click bait journalism, a real winner of the genre. Why won’t you click on me?
– Gizmodo has “the Pro-Trump Attack Ad That Will Air During James Comey’s Testimony”! Remember yesterday when TRUMPISTAN WATCH noted the media was comparing this to the Superbowl. This is your only indication. Also, this might be really dumb if they are planning attack ads, like much beneath the intellect of many inside the beltway or those even feigning intelligence beyond the beltway, but we have to hope that this testimony is like “The Simpsons” yet in that it speaks on a few different levels.
SALACIOUS COMEY DAY HEADLINE: CASTLE ON A CLOUD
Comey day has arrived! And on the eve, as if to say to the sitting tub of stinking orange Russian shit squatting in the White House, you cannot go back now, Comey released the text of his prepared remarks to Congress last night. Now when you read it, recall, most of the American public will not read it and will extrapolate the majority of their so-called knowledge from the teevee and intertubes, where it will be parsed into tiny bits with catsup so the public can develop strong opinions that reaffirm preexisting prejudices. What this will change is unclear at present, but as everyone has trashed Comey at some point (TRUMPISTAN WATCH has reserved judgment always smelling even greater reasons for cynicism lurking behind every corner). This gives Comey uniquely bizarre credibility, as Hillary believes Comey contributed to her Electoral College defeat and Trump threw one of those toddler tantrums over Comey’s unwillingness to pledge loyalty to the great Trumpenführer. In any event, everyone seized on the Comey statement’s choice of words [which are said to be our TV-ratings obsessed president’s] concerning Trump’s effort to obstruct justice (which Comey will not say, we are told). Trump wanted Comey to “lift the cloud”. There is a castle on a cloud…. Let’s call it the White House as long as a certain puppet squats therein. Also this is how the mafia talks.
SALACIOUS COMEY DAY HEADLINE: ‘I NEED LOYALTY, I EXPECT LOYALTY’
CNBC reports that our wildly insecure lunatic Russian bullshit puppet president demanded of Comey, “I need loyalty, I expect loyalty,” according to Comey’s prepared remarks for his big thrill on the Hill appearance today. Well, TRUMPISTAN WATCHians, the president has given license to all our worst instincts and by our, the nation’s, so TRUMPISTAN WATCH needs loyalty, expects loyalty! Also reminder: you will never change the channel on America! Not even when America sleeps with your mute sister who fell into a coma and is married to your husband’s evil half-brother, who happens to have had an affair with your mother’s twin. America!
SALACIOUS COMEY DAY HEADLINE: RUSSIAN SEX WORKERS
In the past, usage of the word “hooker” has been met with corrections from others more in tune to this sector of the economy insisting on the term “sex worker”. The objection TRUMPISTAN WATCH has is that not all are “workers,” especially underage minors and those lured into the broader sex industry on dubious pretexts, who might in fact more closely fit the definition of “slave” or “trafficked person”. With that effort at humanizing a very human trade in mind, let’s turn to Trump’s Russian sex worker rumor problem. In so far as Comey’s prepared remarks give us insight into rumors of activities involving precious bodily fluids at the Ritz Carlton Moscow and our traitor trash president since the release of the Steele dossier, according to The Washington Post, Comey explains, “He [Trump] said he had nothing to do with Russia, had not been involved with hookers in Russia, and had always assumed he was being recorded when in Russia.” Because having a mic on stopped him from boasting about his ability to, “Grab them by the pussy” before? Because, as is known, “when you are a big star, they just let you do it.” Traitor trash Trump, impeachment and treason are moving on you like a bitch, and when you are up against the entire national security apparatus, they just let you do it.
TRUMP TO NOMINATE CHRISTOPHER WRAY AS FBI DIRECTOR
Trump will nominate Christopher Wray as his next FBI Director. Wray most recently served a turn in the spotlight as New Jersey Governor Chris Christie’s personal attorney during the “Bridgegate scandal,” where the governor’s office retaliated against parts of the state that did not support him by forcing bridge lane closings. Of course Twitler used his baby hands to transmit news of his decision concerning the finalists via his favorite social media platform, calling Wray “a man of impeccable credentials,” which might have been the case before Trump touched him. According to POLITICO, “Wray served as an assistant attorney general from 2003 to 2005 during the tenure of former President George W. Bush. He currently is a partner at the King & Spalding law firm, where he chairs its special matters and government investigations practice group. At the Justice Department, Wray was the assistant attorney general in charge of the department’s criminal division, having been unanimously confirmed to that post by the Senate. He was a member of Bush’s corporate fraud task force and led the task force charged with investigating the Enron scandal.” Oh Enron, the halcyon days of executive of big oil companies’ corruption being confined to greed and not also including possible collusion for acts of treason. We did not know how good we had it.
DECONFLICTION JUNCTION WHAT’S YOUR FUNCTION: CAPTURE DEFENSE
Before we embark on today’s Michael Flynn-related insanity, let’s review some basic facts about so-called Russian-style “active measures,” as adapted from the earlier KGB and utilized as a method to influence, or, in the current circumstances, to capture the state. According to Russian doctrine, the state has three major components that must be captured one by one to seize the state: foreign policy, defense and the economy. If we look at the condition of the State Department not even five months into the fraud Trump’s treasonous presidency, we see U.S. foreign policy in a state of near or constant collapse. Now, let’s move onto defense as The Daily Beast reports, Trump’s first National Security Advisor Michael Flynn who lasted a measly 24 days on the job due to the fact of his extraordinarily treasonous tendencies, “pushed so hard for the Pentagon to cooperate with the Russian military that his initiative would likely have broken the law if it had ever been enacted.” Well wow, fuck. Flynn made ample use of global war on terror doctrine and operations to try and achieve this end as he “advocated for the expansion of a relatively narrow military communications channel—one meant to keep U.S. and Russian pilots safe from one another—to see if the two nations could jointly fight the so-called Islamic State.” One former official told The Daily Beast, “Inside the Pentagon, ‘there was a lot of fear that we’d move to outright cooperation [with Russia] through this channel’” and unclear if the same or another defense official said, “Everyone knew where it was coming from.” You know what you do with this information? You file it under Everything Is So Much Worse Than I Am Willing To Entertain At Most Every Moment. Because everything is actually so much worse than you are likely willing to entertain at most any given moment. These Russian fuckers wanted into our military because OF COURSE THEY DID. Do you not see how serious this is yet and maybe just maybe an occasion for something more than mere popcorn!? Oh screw it, what can most of us do? Eat your damn popcorn; stuff your face with it. If the nuclear exchange occurs, it may be your last morsel of food for some time after the nuclear holocaust.
From The Daily Beast.
SENATORS TO TRAITOR: PUPPET, DO NOT GIVE BACK MASTER’S MANSIONS
The Hill reports, “A bipartisan group of senators is warning the Trump administration against returning U.S.-based diplomatic compounds to Russia that were seized in response to Moscow’s election meddling.” Widely considered to be signals intelligence stations or beach houses, probably both, the properties in Centerville, Maryland and Long Island, New York were seized by the Obama administration like a firm slap on the wrist by your dad in his favorite jeans. In any event, rumors which are more accurate than anything emanating officially from the White House have circulated Trump trash wants to give them back to his masters in the Kremlin because of course the traitor trash does. The Senators, which included Senator Lindsey Graham, wrote, “Returning the compounds to Russian control is unjustifiable”. A nice start. Now can we please send the Oligarchs and Russian mafia sate officials kids home from their lovely luxury lives in New York, London, Paris, etc. and really punish them, but like for real this time?
From The Hill.
HOLD ONTO YOUR JOBS, THE ROAD IS ROCKY!
The Washington Post reports, “Two of the nation’s top intelligence officials,” Director of National Intelligence Dan Coats and National Security Agency Director Admiral Mike Rogers, “declined in a testy hearing Wednesday to discuss the specifics of private conversations with President Trump, refusing to say whether they had been asked to push back against an FBI probe into possible coordination between Trump’s campaign and the Russian government.” That is called holding on for dear life for your jobs. It is not the same as lying, but it is withholding a truth. One is perjury; the other is sneaky. POLITICO notes, “’It just shows what kind of an Orwellian existence we live in,’ Sen. John McCain said, pointing out that Coats was refusing to discuss interactions that had been printed in that morning’s edition of the Washington Post. He called the report ‘more than disturbing.’”
—–KNOW YOUR ENEMY—–
REMINDER: QATAR OWNS ONE-FIFTH STAKE IN ROSNEFT
Reuters reports, “Any suggestions that Russia could ‘eventually’ buy back the stake in its flagship oil producer Rosneft which it had sold to Qatar are ‘not possible and incorrect’, Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov said on Wednesday.” Probably because they have spent so much on the America operation, they do not have the capital. Recall, “The Qatar Investment Authority and Swiss-based commodities trading firm Glencore bought a 19.5 percent stake in Rosneft for more than 10 billion euros ($11.22 billion) last December,” as Reuters reminds us.
ATLANTIC COUNCIL TRACES FAUX NEWS FOX STORY TO RUSSIAN DISINFO
Do not worry, it is not just faux news Fox News this happens literally all of the time! Ever heard of Julian Assange or Glenn Greenwald or Russia? Well the genesis of this effort so to speak, if we may compare something so vile, Russian propaganda, to something so Biblical, genesis, without flattering the fuckers in the process… No, we cannot! So, let’s try anew, a sewer rat decided to get fat and crawl into the faux news Fox News “room” and infiltrate it with… surprise! Russian disinformation! According to The New York Times (which never once in its history has perpetuated any pro-Trump or pro-Russia myths, ever), a “brief, tense confrontation happened on April 12, 2014, and the Pentagon issued a statement. Then in April, three years later, the story resurfaced, completely twisted, on one of Russia’s main state-run TV news programs.” How did this happen? Let’s dissect, or since we are dealing with rats, vivisect! According to The New York Times, “The new version gloated that the warplane had deployed an electronic weapon to disable all operating systems aboard the Cook. That was false, but it soon spread,” because nobody fact checks anything, people take their sources at their word and misrepresent them, and lastly click bait journalism feeds hungry journalists and their families, but still you should not give up on truth! Please do not give up on truth! It is just reality makes that hard, TRUMPISTAN WATCH knows. In any case, worth the read as your real news sausage might have some different components, like no parody website or Russian and UK tabloids, but often enough, it can or just might. Basically it is stories like this that have convinced TRUMPISTAN WATCH to go for fiction if we get our democratic republic back (we will not, it will never be whole again) or just top dollar because whoring for capitalism is the future, just look at the present and who is in charge of the universe. Your moral values have no worth to share holders, ergo they are not important and relevant to the modern universe.
From The New York Times.
MEMETIC WARFARE: iPHONES FOR ANTI-DEMOCRATIC MEMES
Apple must be so thrilled by this anti-democratic branding initiative but if only tech were more outspoken, unanimously against an authoritarian takeover and doing everything it could to stand for civil liberties you know, not being evil, the people would defend the brand itself. However, that is so not what has happened, especially among a population that harbors fears of all the dark fantasies Snowden and Greenwald help profligate and where there is no memory or even knowledge of what the actual Stasi did to East German citizens. Welcome to the dystopian unreality of this present moment that a Russian oligarch who co-owns Arsenal and is suing sad little Putin’s biggest opposition threat since forever, Alexey Navalny, is now offering iPhones for the best anti-Navalny memes. BBC reports, “‘Lol, guys, Usmanov has chosen the memes he likes, not the ones you like,’ one Twitter user commented.” Sad!
—–RADIO MOSCOW: STORIES FROM THEIR PRESS AND OURS—–
MAINSTREAMIFICATION OF TRUMP’S ILLEGITIMACY COMPLETE. QED.
After the latest Russian hacking revelations came via a National Security Agency (NSA) contractor, Reality Leigh Winner, who leaked a report on how Russians tried hacking our election machines, and phishing local election officials and Senator Mark Warner came out yesterday to say hacking is much more widespread than reported, last night, Stephen Colbert, the late night comedian called for a new election and asked, “Who really knows who won November 8th now? I mean, other than Vladimir Putin.” Thank you everyone who listened after November 9 (when the result was announced; anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall).
From The Daily Beast.
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