—–ON THE AGENDA—–
G6+1: HOW TO LOSE FRIENDS + DESTROY A NATION’S STANDING
The Washington Post reports, “President Trump plans to confront other world leaders at a summit in Quebec on Friday over what he believes is a global economic system tilted against the United States, several people briefed on the plan said, escalating tensions with U.S. allies who have expressed outrage at his pivot toward protectionism.” The Washington Post notes, “The summit will put Trump face to face with leaders he has antagonized on a range of issues, including the environment and the U.S. withdrawal last month from the international nuclear accord with Iran.” The Washington Post adds, “Trump will meet with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and French President Emmanuel Macron on the sidelines of the meeting,” adding, “The White House announced no individual meetings between Trump and either British Prime Minister Theresa May or German Chancellor Angela Merkel.” Trump does not deal well with women who have any power so this is probably for the best. For once, it is a good thing to be a woman. The Washington Post notes our fake Russian bullshit president, a walking, talking active measure, “is looking to stoke divisions, White House officials are discussing ways to impose additional economic penalties against Canada”. POLITICO adds, “President Donald Trump will leave the G-7 summit before its conclusion,” noting, “Trump will be depart the summit in Quebec at 10:30 a.m. Saturday and head directly to Singapore, the site of his June 12 meeting with the North Korean leader, Kim Jong Un”. In the G6+1, POLITICO notes, “By pulling out early, Trump will skip sessions focused on climate change, the oceans and clean energy. He will also miss the traditional group-photo opportunity among fellow heads of state. The president may also miss the opportunity to host a summit-ending news conference, something world leaders traditionally do.” Meanwhile among the G6, The Washington Post reports, “Macron said Trump could be excluded from joining with other leaders in a joint declaration of unity at the end of a global summit here, a very unusual move that was meant to isolate Trump’s recent burst of trade threats aimed at numerous U.S. allies. ‘The American President may not mind being isolated, but neither do we mind signing a 6 country agreement if need be,’ Macron wrote on Twitter. ‘Because these 6 countries represent values, they represent an economic market which has the weight of history behind it and which is now a true international force.’”
LOCK HIM UP! MANAFORT DUE IN COURT, COULD END UP IN JAIL
The Daily Mail reports, “Earlier this week Mueller said that his team had uncovered encrypted messages which showed the 69-year-old,” Paul Manafort, “had been in contact with witnesses in his case. The messages were an ‘effort to influence [witness] testimony and to otherwise conceal evidence’, the FBI says.” Manafort is due in court today. Fridays are always at a minimum sealed indictment days of the heart but this Friday could be extra special.
From The Daily Mail.
EX-SENATE INTEL AIDE ARRESTED, NYT REPORTERS RECORDS SEIZED
The New York Times reports, “A former Senate Intelligence Committee aide was arrested on Thursday in an investigation of classified information leaks where prosecutors also secretly seized years’ worth of a New York Times reporter’s phone and email records.” The New York Times adds, “The former aide, James A. Wolfe, 57, was charged with lying repeatedly to investigators about his contacts with three reporters. According to the authorities, Mr. Wolfe made false statements to the F.B.I. about providing two of them with sensitive information related to the committee’s work. He denied to investigators that he ever gave classified material to journalists, the indictment said.” The New York Times notes, “Mr. Wolfe, the Intelligence Committee’s director of security, was slated to appear before a federal judge on Friday in Washington. Reached on Thursday evening before his arrest, Mr. Wolfe declined to comment.” The New York Times adds, “Mr. Wolfe’s case led to the first known instance of the Justice Department going after a reporter’s data under President Trump. The seizure was disclosed in a letter to the Times reporter, Ali Watkins, who had been in a three-year relationship with Mr. Wolfe. The seizure suggested that prosecutors under the Trump administration will continue the aggressive tactics employed under President Barack Obama.” The New York Times notes, “She published an article for BuzzFeed News on April 3, 2017, about the attempted recruitment of Mr. Page in which he confirmed the contacts.” The New York Times adds, “F.B.I. agents initially approached Ms. Watkins about the relationship she had with Mr. Wolfe, saying they were investigating unauthorized leaks. The Justice Department told her in a letter sent in February that her records had been seized. The Times learned on Thursday of the letter, which came from the national security division of the United States attorney’s office in Washington.”
From The New York Times.
TRUMP’S LAWYERS REALLY REALLY WANT ACCESS TO COHEN DOCUMENTS
CNN reports, “Donald Trump’s lawyers asked a New York judge to allow them to file challenges to an ongoing document review under seal in the latest court development stemming from the raid of Michael Cohen’s property.” CNN notes, “Trump’s attorneys said they intended to make their challenges Thursday. On Monday, the special master appointed to review the seized materials for items that may be protected by attorney-client privilege said a very small number fell into that category.”
SENATOR WYDEN SAYS TREASURY IS STALLING ON PROVIDING COHEN INFO
ABC News reports, “A top Senate Democrat says the Treasury Department is refusing to turn over documents and information to Congress related to President Donald Trump’s former lawyer Michael Cohen and his consulting firm’s relationship with Swiss drug company Novartis and other possible clients.” ABC News adds, “Sen. Ron Wyden, D-Ore., the Ranking Member of the Senate Finance Committee investigating Cohen’s relationship with Novartis, said through a spokesperson Wednesday that Treasury is not cooperating with a request for information about Cohen and Novartis. On May 11th, Wyden sent a letter to the Treasury’s Financial Crimes Enforcement Network requesting reports from the agency on suspicious transactions – known as Suspicious Activity Reports – between Cohen’s firm Essential Consultants and Novartis, and any other entities tied to the Swiss company.” ABC News notes, “Wyden, who has placed a hold on Treasury nominee Isabel Patelunas as part of a long-running standoff with the department over Russia-related document requests”. Look at the little quisling Steve Mnuchin, doing all he can to protect Cohen and Russia. This is regime bullshit, not customary delays befitting of democratic governance. Hit the lights please if you are last to leave the republic. ABC News adds, “The Swiss attorney general has decided not to pursue criminal charges against the company in connection with the payments it made to Cohen, saying in a statement that it concluded there was insufficient evidence linking the payments to any official acts.”
From ABC News.
SILENCE! THE REAL PRESIDENT IS SPEAKING
CNN reports, “In an unusual move potentially rife with political implications, Defense Secretary James Mattis weighed in Wednesday on President Donald Trump’s imposition of trade tariffs on Canada, Mexico and the EU. The tariffs were imposed on the basis of a national security concerns about trade imbalances, especially in steel, but Mattis has largely avoided publicly discussing economic issues, insisting that he is solely focused ensuring the lethality of US forces.” Except he isn’t and is the closest thing Trumpistan has to a bipartisan leader with a mandate that has presidential characteristics. CNN notes, “Mattis’ comments on the new friction with some of the US’ closest allies now raise questions about whether he plans to step more into politicized issues”. CNN adds, “Speaking to reporters on the way to a NATO meeting in Europe,” Mattis said, “So will the trade war have an impact, effect on the security relationships? Right now, I don’t see that,” adding, “I think it’s still premature to call it a trade war, because as it starts maturing, you know there is always give and take on these things”. However, “Mattis then went even further into administration talking points on trade issues he has not talked about in detail before. ‘We can’t have 2 percent on imported cars and another nation have a 10 percent tax on our cars when they are imported to their country. We are looking for reciprocal trade’.” CNN adds, “The defense secretary did seek to tie it all to national security saying, a strong US economy ‘keeps our national security apparatus funded.’” Now for the truly scary part: “A senior administration official told CNN that one justification for the ‘national security’ trigger on the steel and aluminum tariffs is that those US industries are so depressed that the US could not mount a ‘world war’ mobilization like that seen during World War II, when the US had to rapidly produce ships and planes to fight the Nazis and Japan. Mattis has not always fully agreed with that line. In an internal administration memo earlier this year, he suggested that the Defense Department would not have difficulty maintaining supplies of steel and aluminum solely from US production, even without trade restrictions.”
DOJ TO GIVE NEW BRIEFING TO GANG OF EIGHT ON FBI INVESTIGATION
The Washington Post reports, “The Justice Department plans to brief senior lawmakers next week with additional details and documents about how the FBI investigated whether Trump campaign advisers had suspicious ties to Russia — a concession to Republican demands for more information about the politically charged probe.” The Washington Post adds, “Justice Department officials made the new offer amid ongoing political battles over how the FBI handled the early days of its investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 election. Those fights intensified last month after House Intelligence Committee Chairman Devin Nunes (R-Calif.) issued a subpoena demanding documents about a confidential FBI source, Stefan A. Halper, who had aided that probe and repeatedly reached out to Trump advisers in 2016.” The Washington Post notes, “In late May, Deputy Attorney General Rod J. Rosenstein briefed senior members of both parties about how the FBI pursued the case. The Justice Department will give those lawmakers a follow-up briefing next week, partly to answer questions raised by House Speaker Paul D. Ryan (R-Wis.),” adding, “The briefing will be for the Gang of Eight — the senior Democrat and Republican in the Senate and House, as well as the senior members of each party on their respective intelligence committees.” Regrettably that includes DARKNESS AT NUNES.
From The Washington Post.
SCHIFF SEEKS RELEASE OF ALL HOUSE INTEL INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPTS
NBC News reports, “The top Democrat on the House Intelligence Committee is raising public pressure on Republicans to release transcripts of all the panel’s interviews related to the Russia investigation, saying they could be of value to the ongoing Mueller probe. Rep. Adam Schiff, D-Calif., wrote to the committee’s chairman, Rep. Devin Nunes, R-Calif., two weeks ago requesting that the dozens of transcripts be released, saying they could shed ‘additional light on the issues of collusion and obstruction of justice.’” NBC News adds, “Schiff said Thursday he had not received a reply to his request” and DARKNESS AT NUNES and his office have refused to comment. In an interview, Schiff said, “Certainly the testimony of Don Jr., Erik Prince, Roger Stone and others is inconsistent with the public reports of meetings, conversations and other facts that have now been established,” adding, “if those public reports are accurate, then clearly they were not telling the truth.” The Trumpistani elites are lying liars, in other words, because they lie.
From NBC News.
SWALWELL BILL TO MAKE REPORTING FOREIGN INTERFERENCE MANDATORY
The Atlantic carries an opinion piece by Rep. Eric Swalwell aptly titled, “Reporting on Foreign Interference Shouldn’t Be Optional” where he writes, “Although the House investigation was marred by Republican partisanship, and was prematurely and shamefully brought to an end by the president’s supporters on the committee, it did reveal this widespread unwillingness to inform law-enforcement agencies of the Russian efforts. Had anyone raised the alarm about this outreach, Russia’s efforts to interfere with the election might have been discovered and countered much earlier than they were. Instead, we are still picking up the pieces, and still vulnerable to foreign interference in our 2018 midterm elections.” As a result, “Now that we have this knowledge, we have a responsibility to act on it so that this never happens again. To ignore this is to cede our democracy’s cornerstone—our free and fair elections—to our foreign adversaries.” Swalwell correctly notes, “It was Russia supporting a Republican this time; it could be some other entity helping Democrats next time. This isn’t a partisan issue: No matter the players, it can’t be tolerated.” So Swalwell is introducing “the Duty to Report Act,” which “would explicitly require candidates and campaigns to notify the FBI if anyone representing a foreign power offers dirt on that candidate’s opponents. More specifically, the legislation would make it a crime for candidates, their immediate family, or people involved with their campaign to fail to notify the FBI if any of them are told about, are offered, or receive in an unsolicited way nonpublic, materially significant information about another person running for the same office, when they know or recklessly disregard that the source is a foreign power or agent of a foreign power.” Only a death cult like the present GOP and its leader Trump would imagine that this will only work to their benefit and never against them. In fact, there is plenty of evidence to suggest Russia did work to bolster other candidates on the opposite side of the political spectrum, albeit not with the same degree of interest, including Bernie Sanders and Jill Stein.
From The Atlantic.
SPINELESS RYAN IS BACK + NEVER LEFT US: FULL DEATH CULT GOP MOMENT
CNN reports, “House Speaker Paul Ryan on Thursday said there was ‘no evidence of collusion’ between Donald Trump’s campaign and Russia, siding with the President on collusion one day after he broke with Trump about claims the FBI put spies in his campaign.” In case anyone was curious about how long he would show a spine, it did not last 36 hours. Full Trumpistan! Full death cult!
DEATH CULT GOP CANNOT COMMIT TO NOT CHEATING WITH HACKED GOODS
CNN reports, “The heads of the House Democratic and Republican campaign arms clashed Thursday over whether their candidates should use hacked emails and documents in midterm races this fall.” CNN adds, “Rep. Ben Ray Luján, the chairman of the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee, said campaigns should ‘absolutely not’ use those materials against opponents ‘in any form or fashion.’” Meanwhile on the death cult GOP side, Rep. Steve Stivers, said he wouldn’t ‘run down one of my candidates for using something that’s in the public domain.’” Collusion is no delusion, here it is all spelled out for you: the death cult GOP loves foreign hackers and will not impede or obstruct their interference in our elections. As the Great Lunatic said in pre-coup former USA, “Russia, if you’re listening…”
POMPEO LIFTING HIRING FREEZE IS FAKE LIKE ALL ELSE IN TRUMPISTAN
Foreign Policy reports, “Less than a month ago, career US diplomats were cheering their new boss, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, for lifting a hiring freeze at the State Department that had demoralized many of them and come to symbolize a leadership that didn’t value their work. Now, some of them are feeling betrayed.” Foreign Policy adds, “Employees have recently been told that the change only applies to a sliver of open positions — those vacated after Dec. 31, 2017”. Foreign Policy notes, “A State Department spokeswoman confirmed that positions vacated before the end of last year would not be filled under current congressional spending requirements, appearing to indicate that Congress is to blame.” Why not Soros or Hillary Clinton? Or the Deep State? Blaming Congress is so passé, so former USA.
From Foreign Policy.
DUNFORD + GERASIMOV MEET IN HELSINKI
CNN reports, “Gen. Joseph Dunford, chairman of Joint Chiefs of Staff, is expected to meet with Gen. Valery Gerasimov, the current chief of the General Staff of the Armed Forces of Russia, according to an announcement from the Finnish government, which provided the first public disclosure of the meeting. Even as Dunford’s staff announced the chairman had already met in Helsinki with his Finnish counterpart, commander of the Finnish Defense Forces Gen. Jarmo Lindberg, it would not comment on a possible meeting with Gerasimov.” CNN notes, “Dunford’s sensitivity to any early announcement of the meeting underscores the delicate, yet vital relationship he has established with Gerasimov. While both governments have fraught ties, the two military chiefs have developed a quiet relationship to ensure military relations remain as stable as possible.” CNN adds, “Since Gerasimov kept his post as the chief of forces after the latest Russian election, he is seen by the US as a key route to getting any US military message to the highest levels of the Russian government, including President Vladimir Putin”. CNN notes, “This latest meeting is not believed to be for any sudden reason.”
FOUR STRYKER COLLISION INVOVLES 14 SOLDIERS IN LITHUANIA
The Army Times reports, “Four Strykers smashed into each other during a road march through Lithuania on Thursday”. The Army Times notes, “injuries were minor,” adding, “The Vilseck, Germany-based unit is in Lithuania as part of Saber Strike, an annual, multinational exercise held in the Baltic countries and Poland for roughly a month at the beginning of summer.” The AP reports 13 soldiers were injured in the collision.
FORMER ESTONIAN PRESIDENT + OTHERS RECEIVE MEDAL OF VALOR
The Baltic Times reports, “Former Estonian president Toomas Hendrik Ilves is one of the citizens of Estonia blacklisted by Russia earlier this week in response to the ‘unfriendly actions’ taken by Latvia, Lithuania and Estonia, which have denied entry to Russian citizens on the so-called Magnitsky list, journalists at the Russian language edition of Postimees have learned.” This is among the few things TRUMPISTAN WATCH really desires but has not achieved yet; it is effectively a medal of valor for outstanding service to humanity. There is the Nobel Prize and then there is this, being blacklisted by Russia is somehow more meaningful. The Baltic Times adds, “The other Estonian nationals who have revealed that their name is on list of persons banned from entering Russia are activist and politician Jevgeni Kristafovits, NGO activist Sergei Metlev, deputy chairman of the extended board of the Estonian Conservative People’s Party (EKRE) Urmas Reitelmann, chairman of the Free Party Andres Herkel, historian Igor Kopotin, editor-in-chief of Diplomaatia magazine Erkki Bahovski, journalist Ainar Ruussaar, and Kalev Stoicescu, fellow at the International Center for Defense and Security. It has also been revealed that the list includes the names of three former members of the Estonian government.” Congrats and thank you all for your service to humanity! Be proud and stand tall with your families!
From The Baltic Times.
SWEDEN APPROVES NORDSTREAM 2
Reuters reports, “Sweden has approved an application from Nord Stream 2 to lay two gas pipelines through its economic zone in the Baltic Sea, the government said on Thursday”. Reuters adds the Minister for Enterprise and Innovation Mikael Damberg said, “Our judgement was that we were not able to say no”. Oh really?
—–KNOW YOUR ENEMY—–
HISTORY IS HARD, LIFE IS ABOUT TO BECOME HARDER
The Washington Post reports, “It appears to be the time of historical references in world politics. French President Emmanuel Macron felt that recent world events reminded him of the lead-up to World War II, while German leader Angela Merkel had similar thoughts, citing the less-well-known 1555 Peace of Augsburg, which created some of the conditions for the devastating Thirty Years War in Europe.” Are you a French optimist or a German pessimist? Either way, life is about to get harder for everyone. The Washington Post adds, “On May 25, it was Trump’s turn to make ominous historical references, according to reports by CNN and CBC. Defending his decision to impose trade tariffs on Canada on national security grounds, Trump — perhaps as a joke — asked Prime Minister Justin Trudeau during a call: ‘Didn’t you guys burn down the White House?’ To be clear: No, they didn’t.” As The Washington Post notes, “In fact, the burning of the White House may be the worst possible example to justify a trade dispute — one of the reasons the White House burned was because of a trade dispute.” Truth is such a bitch and it is moving on Trump like one. The Washington Post clarifies the historical record: “Trump was referring to the war of 1812 between the British and the Americans that resulted in the burning of Washington in 1814, at a time when Canada was still part of the British Empire. While Canada didn’t burn down the White House — that dubious honor fell to British forces following a U.S. invasion of what is today Ontario — it was at least on the side of the British, which is perhaps reason enough for the president to use it as an example to make a point about Canada being a national security threat to U.S. interests.” Also can we talk about the Iron Curtain, half of Europe under half a century of Soviet Russian occupation, millions slaughtered, and no official apology or acknowledgement from so-called modern Russia which has elevator the butchery of state terror in Stalin to a national folk hero?
From The Washington Post.
CLAPPER ON FLYNN: “AN ANGRY MAN” WHO “MAY HAVE SUCCUMBED” TO GRU
NBC News spoke with James Clapper, the former Director of National Intelligence, who described Trump’s former national security advisor Michael Flynn who pleaded guilty to one count of lying to the FBI as “an angry man”. Clapper said, “I think the termination ate at him,” when he was fired as the Defense Intelligence Agency chief after decades of military service in 2014. Clapper added, “After that, Flynn was ready to join with any Republican candidate ‘as long as he was in a position to criticize the Obama administration’”. NBC News notes, “It is commonplace for government officials to be approached by the GRU, Russia’s military intelligence agency, according to Clapper. He said that GRU officials approached him after his retirement from the agency in 1995, inviting him to their headquarters, and giving him a tour of a Spetsnaz facility.” NBC News adds, “Clapper said he tried to warn Flynn of getting to close with GRU officials. ‘One time I had a little chat with him, sort of for some fatherly advice, to “just be careful,”’” he said. But Flynn, Clapper said, ‘may have succumbed’ to GRU influence, leading to his appearance at the same table as Russian President Vladimir Putin at RT’s anniversary dinner in 2015.”
From NBC News.
MORE ON BOLTON’S TOP AIDE FRED FLEITZ, CONSPIRACY THEORIST
The Daily Beast reports, “National Security Advisor John Bolton’s top aide hire said last year that U.S. intelligence reports on Russia’s election meddling were ‘rigged.’” Oh good, just who we need at the top of our nation’s national security apparatus, someone who does not give a fuck about our national security. Should it be any other way in Trumpistan, the land of lies and bullshit? But wait, “That’s just one of the conspiracies Fred Fleitz espoused before he was hired last week as Bolton’s chief of staff”! Indeed, “Fleitz has also said it’s ‘impossible’ to know if Russia was responsible for election-related hacks, and speculated that the Obama administration manipulated intelligence about Russia and that it schemed to ‘trap’ Trump officials by sanctioning Moscow.” What about the Ukrainian lobby? Soros? All Jews? How about the Deep State? Well it won’t matter because “Fleitz even said that President Trump should ‘pardon everyone’ under investigation in the Russia matter.” Yee-haw, who needs a republic! Tyranny is the new democracy, lies are the new truth and slavery is the new freedom.
From The Daily Beast.
ATLANA CYBER ATTACK WORSE THAN PREVIOUSLY KNOWN
Reuters reports, “The Atlanta cyber attack has had a more serious impact on the city’s ability to deliver basic services than previously understood, a city official said at a public meeting on Wednesday, as she proposed an additional $9.5 million to help pay for recovery costs. Atlanta’s administration has disclosed little about the financial impact or scope of the March 22 ransomware hack, but information released at the budget briefings confirms concerns that it may be the worst cyber assault on any U.S. city.” Reuters notes, “Nearly 30 percent of the affected applications are considered ‘mission critical,’ affecting core city services, including police and courts.” Reuters adds, “Top city officials are still discovering the extent of the ransomware incident, in which hackers demanded $51,000 worth of bitcoin for the release of encrypted city data. Atlanta has said it did not pay the ransom.”
AMERICAN FOSTER PARENTS ON IMMIGRANT FAMILY SEPARATIONS
The New York Times reports on immigrant family separations being carried out under the Trump regime and speaks to American foster parents on what is different now from before – a useful, first hand metric to sift propaganda from reality, the impersonal and make it personal. The New York Times speaks to “Janice, her husband, Chris, and their two teenage daughters,” who “have firsthand experience with underage migrants.” The New York Times notes, “They are among a number of families who have in recent years provided a temporary home, called transitional foster care, to minors seeking refuge in the United States, usually after fleeing violence and economic uncertainty in Honduras, El Salvador or Guatemala.” The New York Times adds, “In the last two years, 12 children, including two sets of siblings, have occupied the room upstairs with its soothing white-and-light-blue walls and twin beds with colorful bedding. All had arrived in the United States alone and remained in the family’s care for a few weeks or months until a long-term sponsor already in the country, often a relative, was identified and cleared by the authorities to receive them.” Janice told The New York Times, “They had access to their parents on a daily basis,” adding, “They talked to them on the phone. We have done video chats with Mom and Dad and siblings with every placement — except now.” Now, “José is the first child they have hosted who crossed the border with a parent, rather than alone, then was forcibly separated and left with no ability to contact them. On his flight to Michigan were two other Central American boys in similar circumstances who were placed with families in the area.” The New York Times also spoke with, “Bethany Christian Services, which is coordinating foster placements for about 100 migrant children in Michigan and Maryland, including José’s,” noting the organization “is planning to expand to several other states. Families receive a stipend of about $400 a month to defray the costs of taking care of a child.” Chris Palusky, Bethany’s president told The New York Times, “We don’t want to have to ramp up,” noting, “We would prefer these kids stay with their families; they should not be separated. But being in a loving foster home is better than being on a military base.” Tragically, “Among other children recently fostered by Bethany families is an 18-month-old girl separated from her father, who has been detained. The child cries frequently, especially when she changes settings, such as leaving her foster family’s home to attend a doctor’s appointment.”
From The New York Times.
THE SWAMP WAS DRAINED TO HASTEN THE SEARCH FOR BOTTOM FEEDERS
The Washington Post reports, “Environmental Protection Agency Administrator Scott Pruitt asked members of his 24/7 security detail to run errands for him on occasion, including picking up his dry cleaning and taking him in search of a favorite moisturizing lotion”. Of course running such a detail committed to such prolific errand running is pricey as “The protective detail cost taxpayers nearly $3.5 million during Pruitt’s first year on the job, according to EPA data, and is roughly triple the size of those of his immediate predecessors.” The Washington Post notes, “In one instance, they said, he directed agents to drive him to multiple locations in search of a particular lotion on offer at Ritz-Carlton hotels.”
From The Washington Post.
TIME COVER FEATURED KING DONALD I OF TRUMPISTAN
CNN reports, “The latest Time magazine cover features an illustration of President Donald Trump gazing at a reflection of himself in which he’s dressed up as a monarch, complete with jeweled crown and fur cape. The picture is accompanied by the text, ‘KING ME.’”
CAUGHT STEALING A BURRITO? THE RUSSIAN PROPAGANDA SOLUTION
Global Comment runs a delicious piece, an instructional how to deflect blame from consequences the Russian propaganda way. “Crap, you have stolen your roommate’s burrito. It happens to the best of us,” Global Comment notes, adding, “Anyway, now that the burrito has been stolen, you basically have two options”. The first is the horror-show solution of actually accepting responsibility, something only a true Russophobe would cop to, or you could, “FIGHT THE CHARGES RUSSIAN-PROPAGANDA STYLE”. Obviously the second course is more absurd and as this is TRUMPISTAN WATCH, this is really the only way! As Global Comment notes, “The latter is actually very easy — almost as easy as running the world’s biggest nation while appealing to feelings of revanchism amongst the poor while making the rich ever richer”. So here is the handy how-to guide:
– “Deny stealing the burrito”: “Don’t just say, ‘I didn’t steal this burrito,’ though, that sounds defensive and lame as hell. Say, ‘Can you prove I’ve stolen this burrito’”?
– “Accuse your roommate of stealing his own burrito”: “Provocations happen all the time in life, and what could be more of a brilliant provocation than stealing from oneself in order to point the finger at someone else?” Of course, “‘Wouldn’t it just be easier to say that your roommate ATE his own burrito?’ No, that doesn’t sound nearly as complex and mysterious.”
– “Admit the burrito theft occurred and demand an independent investigation”: “It’s OK to point out that the burrito is, in fact, missing. But who’s going to track it down? Your roommate? He’s far too biased.”
– “Switch gears. Point out that your floss is missing from the bathroom cabinet. Pause dramatically. Let the implications set in”: “Things go missing all of the time. Many things, not just burritos. In fact, by focusing only on burritos, your roommate is engaging in exclusionary tactics, promoting burrito exceptionalism and a burrito-polar world. Your floss is also probably missing. Or maybe you just ran out of floss. You can’t remember. Better demand an independent investigation into the case of the missing floss while you are at it.”
– “Accuse your accuser of prejudice”: “Your roommate doesn’t care about your floss? That’s blatant floss-phobia.”
– “Point out random historical grievances in support of your argument”: This is when you should “Recall, in great detail: The Great Exploding Coors Can Tragedy of 2015, That Time His Cousin Stayed Over (You’re Not Sure What Happened, But It Was Probably Unpleasant),” and other such tragedies of modern times.
– “Blame Hillary Clinton” or better yet, “Blame The Gay Ukrainian Nazi-Jew Lobby”. Why not Soros? The Deep State? Freemasons might work, too, terrorists as well on occasion.
– “Draw a diagram of the kitchen. Photoshop a stereotypical burrito thief into it” as “Visual aids are important.”
– “Accuse your roommate of being hysterical and unreasonable” as “Only a hysterical and unreasonable person would be going on about a goddamn burrito so much, when so many other tragedies are taking place in the world simultaneously.”
– And finally, “Muse poetically on the nature of truth”.
From Global Comment.
—–TOWARDS A PEACEFUL NUCLEAR EXCHANGE—–
TRUMP ISN’T PREPARING FOR FAKE REALITY SHOW SUMMIT
CNN reports, “As the North Korean summit nears, the President’s top advisers on North Korea have provided him with briefings on rogue nation’s nuclear program and the US intelligence community’s assessments of the North Korean leader Trump will face in Singapore next week. But they have also worried that Trump has not sufficiently internalized that information and is instead eager to head into the first meeting between a sitting US president and North Korean leader by relying on his intuition.” Trump pretty much confirmed these fears, which sound more like an acknowledgment of reality when he said yesterday, “I think I’m very well-prepared. I don’t think I have to prepare very much. It’s about attitude. It’s about willingness to get things done.” Even that last part is a con. Surprise!
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