CONGRATS AMERICA YOU’VE BEEN HAD! | WH, DOJ STONEWALL HOUSE INTEL | BUT HIS EMAILS: PRINCELING JARED’S PRIVATE ACCOUNT | KREMLIN COLLEAGUE PAYS PART OF TRUMP LEGAL DEFENSE | OBAMA TRIED TO WAKE ZUCK WHO HIT SNOOZE | MUSLIM BAN 2.0 | WHAT MAKES MELANIA IMPRESSIVE

-----BREAKING-----   CONGRATS AMERICA YOU’VE BEEN HAD! YOUR PRESIDENT IS A RUSSIAN FAKE Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty reports, “The U.S. government on September 22 notified 21 states that their voting systems were targeted by hackers in last year's presidential election, and several of the most closely contested states said the hackers were linked to the … Continue reading CONGRATS AMERICA YOU’VE BEEN HAD! | WH, DOJ STONEWALL HOUSE INTEL | BUT HIS EMAILS: PRINCELING JARED’S PRIVATE ACCOUNT | KREMLIN COLLEAGUE PAYS PART OF TRUMP LEGAL DEFENSE | OBAMA TRIED TO WAKE ZUCK WHO HIT SNOOZE | MUSLIM BAN 2.0 | WHAT MAKES MELANIA IMPRESSIVE

NORTH KOREA SANCTIONS | FAKEBOOK SHARES ADS WITH CONGRESS | ZUCK IS WOKE IN A SHIT BROWN T-SHIRT | SKADDEN, ARPS HIT BY MANAFORT SHITSTORM | TRUMP-RELEVANT OLIGARCHS CALLED INTO THE KREMLIN | RUSSIA TESTFIRES ICBM | RUSSIA + ITS BANKS ARE FUCKED

-----BREAKING-----   DOES TRUMP KNOW NORTH KOREA SANCTIONS HURT HIS RUSSIAN FRIENDS? POLITICO reports, “President Donald Trump on Thursday announced a new executive order that he said would expand authorities to go after individuals, companies and banks involved in trade with North Korea, amid heightened tensions as that country continues ramping up its missile testing.” … Continue reading NORTH KOREA SANCTIONS | FAKEBOOK SHARES ADS WITH CONGRESS | ZUCK IS WOKE IN A SHIT BROWN T-SHIRT | SKADDEN, ARPS HIT BY MANAFORT SHITSTORM | TRUMP-RELEVANT OLIGARCHS CALLED INTO THE KREMLIN | RUSSIA TESTFIRES ICBM | RUSSIA + ITS BANKS ARE FUCKED

WHAT DOCS HAS DON MCGAHN GOT LOCKED IN A SAFE? | HOW WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR MONEY LAUNDERED? | FACEBOOK GAVE MUELLER RUSSIAN PSYOPS RECORDS | TODAY IN FULL TRUMPISTAN HEADLINES | PRETTY WOMAN DREAMS: MELANIA

-----BREAKING-----   TRUMP’S RUSSIA LAWYER OVERHEARD SAYING SOMETHING DELICIOUS The New York Times reports Trump’s in-house Russia lawyer Ty Cobb and John Dowd, described as “a Washington lawyer with extensive experience in high-profile political cases,” while at lunch “at BLT Steak, not far from the White House and a few doors down from The Times’s … Continue reading WHAT DOCS HAS DON MCGAHN GOT LOCKED IN A SAFE? | HOW WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR MONEY LAUNDERED? | FACEBOOK GAVE MUELLER RUSSIAN PSYOPS RECORDS | TODAY IN FULL TRUMPISTAN HEADLINES | PRETTY WOMAN DREAMS: MELANIA

ZAPAD STARTS | RUSSIA DIDN’T GET ITS WAY WITH THE U.S. | WH MOVES TO ALLOW ANONYMOUS LEGAL FUND GIFTS | MUELLER LOOKING AT COMEY FIRING + SOCIAL MEDIA | FLYNN + JR LIES + CONSPIRACIES | US GOVERNMENT BANS KASPERSKY

-----ON THE AGENDA-----   ZAPAD WATCH: STARTING TODAY, RUSSIA PREPS TO LOSE TO VEYSHNORIA Watch out Russia, Veyshnoria is going to kick your ass but not if it doesn’t have to. Actually it already did. And the Russians are streaming across the border to freedom where the Veyshnorians are passing out bananas. Reuters reports, “From … Continue reading ZAPAD STARTS | RUSSIA DIDN’T GET ITS WAY WITH THE U.S. | WH MOVES TO ALLOW ANONYMOUS LEGAL FUND GIFTS | MUELLER LOOKING AT COMEY FIRING + SOCIAL MEDIA | FLYNN + JR LIES + CONSPIRACIES | US GOVERNMENT BANS KASPERSKY

PUTIN WANTED TO KISS AND MAKE UP | SANCTIONS THREATEN RUSSIAN DEFENSE BUILD UP | RUSSIA USED FACEBOOK TO ORGANIZE U.S. PROTESTS | TURKEY BUYS MISSILES FROM MOSCOW | MONITORING RUSSIAN PROPAGANDA IN GERMANY

-----BREAKING-----   PUTIN WANTED FULL RAPPROCHEMENT WITH AMERICA Putin is the little boy with a crush who will never ever get what he truly seeks because she is too beautiful, too shiny, too full of herself, too distracted. He also misjudged terribly how not broken the West is and how he would get his way. … Continue reading PUTIN WANTED TO KISS AND MAKE UP | SANCTIONS THREATEN RUSSIAN DEFENSE BUILD UP | RUSSIA USED FACEBOOK TO ORGANIZE U.S. PROTESTS | TURKEY BUYS MISSILES FROM MOSCOW | MONITORING RUSSIAN PROPAGANDA IN GERMANY

PESKOV FINALLY RESPONDS TO COHEN’S EMAIL | MOSCOW: CAN WE TALK TO THE REAL POWER? | MUELLER SQUEEZES MANAFORT | US HAS NATO AMBASSADOR AGAIN | SCHROEDER TO JOIN ROSNEFT BOARD | NAVALNY REVEALS SECRET PUTIN MUSEUM + DACHA ISLAND | BUT HIS EMAILS! | LEAK KAMPF

-----BREAKING-----   KREMLIN CONFIRMS IT DID NOT RESPOND TO COHEN’S EMAIL TO PESKOV The Washington Post reports, “A spokesman for Russian President Vladi­mir Putin confirmed on Wednesday that he had received a request for assistance on a stalled Trump Tower real estate project in Moscow from a close aide to President Trump during the 2016 … Continue reading PESKOV FINALLY RESPONDS TO COHEN’S EMAIL | MOSCOW: CAN WE TALK TO THE REAL POWER? | MUELLER SQUEEZES MANAFORT | US HAS NATO AMBASSADOR AGAIN | SCHROEDER TO JOIN ROSNEFT BOARD | NAVALNY REVEALS SECRET PUTIN MUSEUM + DACHA ISLAND | BUT HIS EMAILS! | LEAK KAMPF

KELLY PLAYS TRUMP’S NEWS DADDY TO CUT CONSPIRACIES | BRENNAN SAID CONGRESS WASN’T WOKE IN DECEMBER | RUSSIA ABUSES INTERPOL TO GET BROWDER FOR PUTINISM | REMEMBERING RICK DEARBORN EXISTS | HOTLINE SYRIA | FAR RIGHT PO’D KELLY THINKS THEY’RE BS | AP’S NOT REAL NEWS

-----BREAKING-----   KELLY: THANKLESS TASK OF KEEPING FAKE NEWS OFF TRUMP’S DESK The New York Times reports, “The president was given pieces of unvetted information, and found more on his own that he often tweeted out. Policy decisions were often based on whoever had last gotten Mr. Trump’s attention. But now, “inside the West Wing, … Continue reading KELLY PLAYS TRUMP’S NEWS DADDY TO CUT CONSPIRACIES | BRENNAN SAID CONGRESS WASN’T WOKE IN DECEMBER | RUSSIA ABUSES INTERPOL TO GET BROWDER FOR PUTINISM | REMEMBERING RICK DEARBORN EXISTS | HOTLINE SYRIA | FAR RIGHT PO’D KELLY THINKS THEY’RE BS | AP’S NOT REAL NEWS