NORTH KOREA SANCTIONS | FAKEBOOK SHARES ADS WITH CONGRESS | ZUCK IS WOKE IN A SHIT BROWN T-SHIRT | SKADDEN, ARPS HIT BY MANAFORT SHITSTORM | TRUMP-RELEVANT OLIGARCHS CALLED INTO THE KREMLIN | RUSSIA TESTFIRES ICBM | RUSSIA + ITS BANKS ARE FUCKED

-----BREAKING-----   DOES TRUMP KNOW NORTH KOREA SANCTIONS HURT HIS RUSSIAN FRIENDS? POLITICO reports, “President Donald Trump on Thursday announced a new executive order that he said would expand authorities to go after individuals, companies and banks involved in trade with North Korea, amid heightened tensions as that country continues ramping up its missile testing.” … Continue reading NORTH KOREA SANCTIONS | FAKEBOOK SHARES ADS WITH CONGRESS | ZUCK IS WOKE IN A SHIT BROWN T-SHIRT | SKADDEN, ARPS HIT BY MANAFORT SHITSTORM | TRUMP-RELEVANT OLIGARCHS CALLED INTO THE KREMLIN | RUSSIA TESTFIRES ICBM | RUSSIA + ITS BANKS ARE FUCKED

MUELLER WANTS ALL THE WHITE HOUSE DOCS | “PRIVATE BRIEFINGS” IN POLITICS IS NOW WAY DIRTIER THAN SEX | RUSSIA + MANAFORT FOR IRAQI KURDISTAN | A MOBSTER WITHOUT AN ENFORCER IS LIKE A SALAD WITHOUT DRESSING | MELANIA TAKES HER OLD “AGENT” TO THE UN | FLORIDA FAKEBOOK

-----BREAKING-----   MUELLER WANTS DOCS ON COMEY FIRING/RUSSIANS IN OVAL OFFICE The New York Times reports, “Robert S. Mueller III, the special counsel, has asked the White House for documents about some of President Trump’s most scrutinized actions since taking office, including the firing of his national security adviser and F.B.I. director”. White House officials … Continue reading MUELLER WANTS ALL THE WHITE HOUSE DOCS | “PRIVATE BRIEFINGS” IN POLITICS IS NOW WAY DIRTIER THAN SEX | RUSSIA + MANAFORT FOR IRAQI KURDISTAN | A MOBSTER WITHOUT AN ENFORCER IS LIKE A SALAD WITHOUT DRESSING | MELANIA TAKES HER OLD “AGENT” TO THE UN | FLORIDA FAKEBOOK

HAPPY SEPTEMBER 11 | EVERYONE IS A WITNESS | “HELP WORLD PEACE + MAKE A LOT OF MONEY” | WHO HAS EVEN LESS CREDIBILITY: RUSSIA OR THE WH? | FAKE NEWS FACEBOOK | EUROPEANS FINALLY FREAKING OUT RIGHT ON TIME FOR ZAPAD

-----ON THE AGENDA-----   HAPPY SEPTEMBER 11! ABC News notes Trump will preside over his first September 11 ceremony as president. Be still, beating heart! You can of course hear the audio of Trump boasting as the towers fell that now he has the tallest building in Manhattan, which still is not even remotely true. … Continue reading HAPPY SEPTEMBER 11 | EVERYONE IS A WITNESS | “HELP WORLD PEACE + MAKE A LOT OF MONEY” | WHO HAS EVEN LESS CREDIBILITY: RUSSIA OR THE WH? | FAKE NEWS FACEBOOK | EUROPEANS FINALLY FREAKING OUT RIGHT ON TIME FOR ZAPAD

FIELD GUIDE FOR COMEY DAY | THE THRILL ON THE HILL | ALL THE BEST SALACIOUS COMEY DAY HEADLINES! | DECONFLICTION + ACTIVE MEASURES

-----ON THE AGENDA-----   COMEY DAY: THE THRILL ON THE HILL Winter is Comey! The day is here. The Party of Russia has begged the toddler in chief not to Tweet live during the hearing or even watch, but with nothing on his schedule and the 24 hour media to egg him on, bring it … Continue reading FIELD GUIDE FOR COMEY DAY | THE THRILL ON THE HILL | ALL THE BEST SALACIOUS COMEY DAY HEADLINES! | DECONFLICTION + ACTIVE MEASURES

AN ANIMAL, TRULY AN EVIL PERSON | RUSSIAN ORDER IS NOT YOUR FRIEND | HOW MANY FOREIGN AGENTS DOES IT TAKE TO ELECT TRUMP?

-----BREAKING-----   THE GENERALS REALLY ARE IN CHARGE The puppet president gave an interview to Fox Business’s Maria Bartiromo, his “first major interview since ordering a military strike on a Syrian airfield late last week”. What do we learn? Well, in addition to thinking he bombed Iraq (he required correcting)? “What I did should have been done by … Continue reading AN ANIMAL, TRULY AN EVIL PERSON | RUSSIAN ORDER IS NOT YOUR FRIEND | HOW MANY FOREIGN AGENTS DOES IT TAKE TO ELECT TRUMP?

TRUMP + CABLE TV + KUSHNER AT WAR | DECONFLICTION JUNCTION: WHAT’S YOUR FUNCTION? | MISSILES MAKE RUSSIA SCANDAL GO BYE BYE

-----ON THE AGENDA-----   G7 IN LUCCA, ITALY A meeting of G7 Foreign Ministers in Lucca, Italy is taking place today. According to BBC, “Foreign ministers will focus on how to pressure Russia to distance itself from Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.” On Sunday, Russian Order of Friendship medal recipient and “US Secretary of State Rex … Continue reading TRUMP + CABLE TV + KUSHNER AT WAR | DECONFLICTION JUNCTION: WHAT’S YOUR FUNCTION? | MISSILES MAKE RUSSIA SCANDAL GO BYE BYE

TRUMP CAN’T LOVE HIS NAZIS + HATE THE GAS | BANNON BANISHED FROM NSC | UDAY FOR DIYALA | PUTIN IS A GAY CLOWN

-----BREAKING-----   TRUMP CAN’T LOVE HIS NAZIS AND HATE THE GAS, THEY GO TOGETHER We have a new “red line”! Hurrah! Our great orange leader thinks the chemical attack in Syria on Wednesday crossed “many, many lines”. Now let’s sit back and watch as Assad steamrolls those many, many lines with Russian help cratering the … Continue reading TRUMP CAN’T LOVE HIS NAZIS + HATE THE GAS | BANNON BANISHED FROM NSC | UDAY FOR DIYALA | PUTIN IS A GAY CLOWN