CONGRATS AMERICA YOU’VE BEEN HAD! | WH, DOJ STONEWALL HOUSE INTEL | BUT HIS EMAILS: PRINCELING JARED’S PRIVATE ACCOUNT | KREMLIN COLLEAGUE PAYS PART OF TRUMP LEGAL DEFENSE | OBAMA TRIED TO WAKE ZUCK WHO HIT SNOOZE | MUSLIM BAN 2.0 | WHAT MAKES MELANIA IMPRESSIVE

-----BREAKING-----   CONGRATS AMERICA YOU’VE BEEN HAD! YOUR PRESIDENT IS A RUSSIAN FAKE Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty reports, “The U.S. government on September 22 notified 21 states that their voting systems were targeted by hackers in last year's presidential election, and several of the most closely contested states said the hackers were linked to the … Continue reading CONGRATS AMERICA YOU’VE BEEN HAD! | WH, DOJ STONEWALL HOUSE INTEL | BUT HIS EMAILS: PRINCELING JARED’S PRIVATE ACCOUNT | KREMLIN COLLEAGUE PAYS PART OF TRUMP LEGAL DEFENSE | OBAMA TRIED TO WAKE ZUCK WHO HIT SNOOZE | MUSLIM BAN 2.0 | WHAT MAKES MELANIA IMPRESSIVE

MUELLER WANTS ALL THE WHITE HOUSE DOCS | “PRIVATE BRIEFINGS” IN POLITICS IS NOW WAY DIRTIER THAN SEX | RUSSIA + MANAFORT FOR IRAQI KURDISTAN | A MOBSTER WITHOUT AN ENFORCER IS LIKE A SALAD WITHOUT DRESSING | MELANIA TAKES HER OLD “AGENT” TO THE UN | FLORIDA FAKEBOOK

-----BREAKING-----   MUELLER WANTS DOCS ON COMEY FIRING/RUSSIANS IN OVAL OFFICE The New York Times reports, “Robert S. Mueller III, the special counsel, has asked the White House for documents about some of President Trump’s most scrutinized actions since taking office, including the firing of his national security adviser and F.B.I. director”. White House officials … Continue reading MUELLER WANTS ALL THE WHITE HOUSE DOCS | “PRIVATE BRIEFINGS” IN POLITICS IS NOW WAY DIRTIER THAN SEX | RUSSIA + MANAFORT FOR IRAQI KURDISTAN | A MOBSTER WITHOUT AN ENFORCER IS LIKE A SALAD WITHOUT DRESSING | MELANIA TAKES HER OLD “AGENT” TO THE UN | FLORIDA FAKEBOOK

TRUMP DIDN’T ADDRESS ELECTION HACKING IN UN SPEECH | FAKE PRESIDENT CLAIMS TO BE REAL BILLIONAIRE, USES PARTY FUNDS FOR LEGAL FEES | MANAFORT IN FBI FOCUS FOR 11 YEARS, DURING CAMPAIGN | MICHAEL COHEN WAS JUST DOING HIS JOB | MILITARY PARADES | SEAN SPICER STILL SUCKS

-----BREAKING-----   TRUMP DID NOT TALK ABOUT RUSSIAN ELECTION HACKING IN UN SPEECH Surprise! POLITICO clearly found nothing to mock in our very fake president’s very real speech to the U.N. General Assembly to slap a headline like “Trump warns that major portions of the world ‘are going to hell’”. POLITICO reports, “President Donald Trump … Continue reading TRUMP DIDN’T ADDRESS ELECTION HACKING IN UN SPEECH | FAKE PRESIDENT CLAIMS TO BE REAL BILLIONAIRE, USES PARTY FUNDS FOR LEGAL FEES | MANAFORT IN FBI FOCUS FOR 11 YEARS, DURING CAMPAIGN | MICHAEL COHEN WAS JUST DOING HIS JOB | MILITARY PARADES | SEAN SPICER STILL SUCKS

ZAPAD STARTS | RUSSIA DIDN’T GET ITS WAY WITH THE U.S. | WH MOVES TO ALLOW ANONYMOUS LEGAL FUND GIFTS | MUELLER LOOKING AT COMEY FIRING + SOCIAL MEDIA | FLYNN + JR LIES + CONSPIRACIES | US GOVERNMENT BANS KASPERSKY

-----ON THE AGENDA-----   ZAPAD WATCH: STARTING TODAY, RUSSIA PREPS TO LOSE TO VEYSHNORIA Watch out Russia, Veyshnoria is going to kick your ass but not if it doesn’t have to. Actually it already did. And the Russians are streaming across the border to freedom where the Veyshnorians are passing out bananas. Reuters reports, “From … Continue reading ZAPAD STARTS | RUSSIA DIDN’T GET ITS WAY WITH THE U.S. | WH MOVES TO ALLOW ANONYMOUS LEGAL FUND GIFTS | MUELLER LOOKING AT COMEY FIRING + SOCIAL MEDIA | FLYNN + JR LIES + CONSPIRACIES | US GOVERNMENT BANS KASPERSKY

RUSSIAN STATE MEDIA SAYS TRUMP WILL MEET THEIR NEW AMBASSADOR SOVIET DINOSAUR | UDAY WAS ON THE HILL + THERE ARE NO PERP WALK-LIKE PICS | ADOPTIONS ARE NOW CODE FOR HILLARY’S FITNESS TO SERVE | APPELLATE COURT SAYS FUCK YOUR BAN | ANTISOCIAL NETWORKS

-----ON THE AGENDA-----   RUSSIAN STATE MEDIA SAYS TRUMP TO MEET THEIR NEW AMBASSADOR Russian state-run RT writes, “The new Russian Ambassador to Washington, Anatoly Antonov will present his credentials to US President Donald Trump on Friday, the White House has confirmed.” How horrible. This has not appeared yet in U.S. media. Russian state-run RT … Continue reading RUSSIAN STATE MEDIA SAYS TRUMP WILL MEET THEIR NEW AMBASSADOR SOVIET DINOSAUR | UDAY WAS ON THE HILL + THERE ARE NO PERP WALK-LIKE PICS | ADOPTIONS ARE NOW CODE FOR HILLARY’S FITNESS TO SERVE | APPELLATE COURT SAYS FUCK YOUR BAN | ANTISOCIAL NETWORKS

KELLY PLAYS TRUMP’S NEWS DADDY TO CUT CONSPIRACIES | BRENNAN SAID CONGRESS WASN’T WOKE IN DECEMBER | RUSSIA ABUSES INTERPOL TO GET BROWDER FOR PUTINISM | REMEMBERING RICK DEARBORN EXISTS | HOTLINE SYRIA | FAR RIGHT PO’D KELLY THINKS THEY’RE BS | AP’S NOT REAL NEWS

-----BREAKING-----   KELLY: THANKLESS TASK OF KEEPING FAKE NEWS OFF TRUMP’S DESK The New York Times reports, “The president was given pieces of unvetted information, and found more on his own that he often tweeted out. Policy decisions were often based on whoever had last gotten Mr. Trump’s attention. But now, “inside the West Wing, … Continue reading KELLY PLAYS TRUMP’S NEWS DADDY TO CUT CONSPIRACIES | BRENNAN SAID CONGRESS WASN’T WOKE IN DECEMBER | RUSSIA ABUSES INTERPOL TO GET BROWDER FOR PUTINISM | REMEMBERING RICK DEARBORN EXISTS | HOTLINE SYRIA | FAR RIGHT PO’D KELLY THINKS THEY’RE BS | AP’S NOT REAL NEWS

TWITLER WHINES RUSSIA SANCTIONS MAKE HIM IMPOTENT | GRAND JURY CONVENED | MUELLER WILL HAVE MORE COVER THAN TRUMP | KUSHNER COMPANIES SUBPOENAED | FLYNN ALSO FORMERLY ON CAMBRIDGE ANALYTICA PAYROLL

-----ON THE AGENDA-----   SESSIONS + DNI COATS TO TALK INTEL LEAKS The Hill reports, “Attorney General Jeff Sessions and Director of National Intelligence Dan Coats will hold speak [sic] on Friday morning about the Trump administration's ongoing efforts to combat intelligence leaks, according to a Justice Department statement.” Citing a statement, The Hill reports, “Sessions … Continue reading TWITLER WHINES RUSSIA SANCTIONS MAKE HIM IMPOTENT | GRAND JURY CONVENED | MUELLER WILL HAVE MORE COVER THAN TRUMP | KUSHNER COMPANIES SUBPOENAED | FLYNN ALSO FORMERLY ON CAMBRIDGE ANALYTICA PAYROLL